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Matthew 15:4
For God commanded, 'Honor your father and your mother,' and, 'Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.' The Sacred Texts tell us that after the Great Flood, Noah began to be a man of the soil, and he planted a vineyard. He drank of the wine and became drunk and lay uncovered in his tent. And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father and told his two brothers outside. Then Shem and Japheth took a garment, laid it on both their shoulders, and walked backward and covered the nakedness of their father. Their faces were turned backward, and they did not see their father's nakedness. When Noah awoke from his wine and knew what his youngest son had done to him, he said, "Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be to his brothers (Genesis 9:21-25). What Ham did was very serious. Many have speculated as to the actions that caused Noah to curse his grand-son for the sake of his son’s actions, but the Text tells us exactly what happened and if it does, why speculate? What the Text tells us about Ham is that he saw the nakedness of his father and told his two brothers outside. When Ham saw his father in a vulnerable disgraceful position, he went and publicized it. His brothers to the contrary, going in and out of the tent respectfully, covered the shame of their father with a blanket of discretion. Today’s lack of high reverence and respect towards parents and elders is not seen as a very serious sin. That’s why we feel the need to find something else that is not in the Text to justify Noah’s judgment of Ham. But according to Biblical standards, honoring parents is what caused longevity and prosperity in the Land. The idea was to also care for them in their old age as they cared for us in our young age. That meant that they needed to live close to each other, not miles apart. As young children we adore our parents like gods, but as we grow older, we become critical of them and see their faults. Should we then go and gossip about them to others publicizing their faults? Or should we respect them by doing what love does, which is to 'cover a multitude of sin (Proverbs 10:12)'? We wonder today at our kids' attitudes towards us, but are they emulating our very own attitudes towards our parents? How do we talk about or treat their grand-parents in front of them? This is a commandment without when, if, and buts; ‘only if my parents are respectable and honorable’. We are not asked to obey them, only to respect and honor them, as well as care for them in their old age. A very important blessing that influenced all of history until today ensued from Shem and Japheth’s discreet and respectful actions action. God said, "Blessed be the LORD, the God of Shem; and let Canaan be his servant. May God enlarge Japheth, and let him dwell in the tents of Shem, and let Canaan be his servant (Genesis 9:26-27)." Indeed, the way we treat and honor our earthly parents is a hint about our relationship with our heavenly Father.
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Matthew 19:14
"Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven." Moses declares to Israel, "I am 120 years old today. I am no longer able to go out and come in (Deuteronomy 31:2). This could be interpreted to mean that because of his age he was decrepit and no longer ambulatory but how could it be when it is also said that, Moses was 120 years old when he died. His eye was undimmed, and his vigor unabated (Deuteronomy 34:7)? Moses simply realized that time had come for him to pass on the baton to Joshua. Wisdom was going from him. He was not able to 'go out and come in' with Words of Torah. He knew that he needed to get out of the way and surrender the leadership of Israel to his faithful and devoted disciple Joshua. Moses had given his life for the cause. He saw all the works of God with Israel. He was the instrument, the 'pedagogue' of God's parenting. As he now readied to meet his Maker, Moses knew what was to befall the people he so faithfully led. He knew of their future disobedience and apostasy; he saw their defeat at the hand of their enemies; he saw multiple exiles, but he also knew that in the end, Hashem fulfills His covenant with them. This can be compared to our own parenting. We tenderly care and nurture our children for let's say twenty years then we send them to their own destinies. We see their first steps towards independence and how badly we want to keep them from falling as we did when they first started walking or riding a bike? We look with apprehension at their future and as we see the gloom and doom of their irresponsible decisions; we instinctively want to grab the steering-wheel of their lives back in our own secure hands. But we have to let go. We have to let God take over the leadership of our children's lives. In fact, the quicker we let go, the better it will be. What do we see when we let go? We see the same things Moses saw will happen to the Children of Israel. We see that our children will disobey the 'torah' we have taught them and will have to learn obedience through the things that they will suffer … just like we did. We might even wonder at times if God is really at the controls … but He most certainly is! God probably went through the same thing when He created mankind. He knew that as He turned them loose in the world, they would make the wrong decision. That is why he prepared atonement for us from even before the creation of the foundations of the world (Revelations 13:8). This atonement was available for the Children of Israel of old, and it is available for our children of Israel of today; so you are, sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Yeshua HaMashiach (Philippians 1:6). As Moses did, may we with confidence turn over the leadership of our children to the Almighty God, knowing that He cares for them more than we even do. He even gave His own only begotten Son to secure them a place in the World to Come! 1 Peter 1:14
As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance. One of the laws of holiness, of the laws that set us apart from the world is, Every one of you shall revere his mother and his father (Leviticus 19:3). Reverence towards our parents sets us aside from the world so we should be seen honoring and revering our parents. This was the first commandment given with a conditional promise, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you (Exodus 20: 12). There are two commandments with a longevity conditional clause, and they are both related to parenthood (Deuteronomy 22:7-8). Yes, to honor and reverence our parents is an integral law of the Kingdom of God; it will be the rule of law in the ‘World to Come’ under the iron rule of Messiah when He reigns on earth. It is easy to direct such a commandment to towards our Western generation of teenagers. Due to the society that we have created around them, they seem to have very little respect for their parents. But I think that we need to direct this command towards ourselves. We need to ask ourselves how much honor and reverence do we have for our parents. To ‘honor’ our parents means to support them. Exodus 20:12 basically says, ‘you shall support your parents in their old age, not send them to a government institution to be taken care of by strangers whose sole interest is to get paid for the job’. If caring for them and changing their diaper cramps our style, we must remember that they allowed their ‘style’ to be cramped in order to care for us and change our diapers. ‘Revering our parents’ speaks of respect. It is understandable that some of us may have had abusive parents who seem unworthy of respect or even of the title. These are different situations that are outside of this commandment. But whereas our parents may not be respectable, our children should not hear negative feelings towards them out of our mouth; if they do, these same words will most certainly come back to us in their mouth because we ourselves are not perfect parents either. Also, forgiveness is not an option; it’s a commandment from the Master who Himself followed God’s commands to forgive by forgiving the abuse of His persecutors (Luke 19:18; Mark 11:25-26; Luke 23:24). Sad to say, in too many homes children hear their parents speak negatively, disparagingly, disrespectfully, or even mockingly about their older parents. We often think of teaching as speaking, and of learning as listening, and as a result many of us try to teach others by telling them how to live. This was not the way of the Master. Like the Rabbis of the day, the Master taught by exemplifying the Torah, by living it and telling His disciples to follow His example. Paul was cradled in the same pedagogy and taught it (1 Corinthians 11:1). Teaching is by doing, and learning is by emulating. The way we react towards our parents is closely tied to the way we react to God. If we know how to trust our wiser parents, we will know how to trust the wiser leadership of the Master. |
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